New Media Martini by Kay Ballard
New Media Martini by Kay Ballard
From the category archives:
With so much horror in real life, such as hair dressers who momentarily lose all pretense of having good sense and, unbidden, layer your bangs, who needs horror movies? Certainly not me. I confess I have never been a horror movie fan. Horror movies are scary, Darling! But maybe, just maybe, I will take what [...]
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As you my darling readers know, and I so happily confirm, I am something of an expert on the subject of adorable, being so adorable myself. For proof we need look no further than the fact that my adorableness is so frequently mentioned by me. Not to mention my charmingly excessive modesty which is also [...]
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Of course you do! Of course you know about tough and what is tough and what isn’t. You are an adult, after all, and even if you are not, we are totally PG–13 here at New Media Martini, even when we attempt to be sexually provocative barely not frequently enough. Obviously, this post will not [...]
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I hate being predictable. Or maybe, what I hate is being told that I am predictable, except when I am told frequently in my dreams that predictably I am both adorable and modest. But regardless of my predictable preferences for reverent referents and my predictable preferences for being unpredictable, some things are undeniably predictable. One [...]
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I am a bold and silly woman which is sometimes difficult and time consuming given that I must spend so much of my time focused almost exclusively on being adorable and modest. And yet, I manage, which astonishes both you and me even though we have jointly come to expect me to have the energy [...]
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Okay. It is settled. I am an expert, rather an Esteemed Expert, notably known as and frequently referred to as the Esteemed Expert whenever it is necessary for me to refer to myself which is often. And I agreed to myself to do so, to refer to myself as the Esteemed Expert, despite my shocking [...]
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I am an expert. A wealthy expert. A highly sought after and amazingly successful and wealthy expert. A noted person sometimes referred to as a Person of Note–a true expert in my niche which I will announce just as soon as my niche has been properly keyword tested. At that time, I will add and [...]
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I am not a master of euphemism. That is not a disclaimer nor just one more sign of my legendary modesty so frequently mentioned by me and by others when others are in the strange and rare act of quoting me. But the title of this post is my euphemistic announcement, stated in passive voice, [...]
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