New Media Martini by Kay Ballard
New Media Martini by Kay Ballard
From the category archives:
Dear Melissa, Let me begin, because how could you not, by thanking you for failing to be named Michelle which in my opinion, never queried, is overused by my friends with that name who blame their mothers for the excess and never consider me and the sufficient confusion it causes me to know so many. [...]
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You are aware, of course, that I am a lawyer. I know that it is true because I remind myself of that very fact from time to time—whenever it seems necessary to disregard the self-loathing that such a self-reminder might evoke. Or, perhaps, self revelation is a better description of those reminders on the frequent [...]
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I am an expert. A wealthy expert. A highly sought after and amazingly successful and wealthy expert. A noted person sometimes referred to as a Person of Note–a true expert in my niche which I will announce just as soon as my niche has been properly keyword tested. At that time, I will add and [...]
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No one believed it would happen. But the internet made me really smart. I am now the kind of person who knows how to do stuff and knows things that other people want to know. People like you. Yes, I know things you want to know. And lucky you are, because I won’t hold back. [...]
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It is wonderful thing to be a mother. At least that is my staunch belief based on my own fabulous experience. Of course, it is dangerous to base one’s beliefs solely on individual experience–something both more convincing and less germane than any further evidence unimaginable. Regardless, I am no longer a mother. You see, my [...]
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A well known and well loved feature of this fabulous blog, New Media Martini, is that we tell time and talk about time using the lived-long life events of Paul McCartney, the cutest Beatle, as time reference points. And we sure as hell avoid birthdays–talking about them, writing about them, and celebrating them, even if [...]
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I said I had no advice for Emma. Or the Kay who deniably is not again seventeen nor seeking advice from the Kay who deniably is some other age. A number unspoken and unremembered as is proper. But I say many things that must later be swallowed or worked around or both swallowed and worked [...]
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Some would consider this a grave situation. Or a report. One of those bone chilling reports like the stock market being precipitously down. Or Cheerios causing Autism, which they don’t. Here is the report. I offer it without pride or rancor. I am done. For now. With smart phones. After owning two smart phones–actually two [...]
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