The Deepak Story: Video Below in the Comments

The Official Version of the Deepak Chopra Incident™

Many have heard wind of the Deepak Chopra Incident™.  Rumors abound!  The rumors foster sincere puzzlement!  Many are curious!  Many seek the truth!  Many understand the significance of the event, and the toll it took on the life an adorable and modest young woman.  Me.

I am Kay Ballard and this is the Official Version of The Deepak Chopra Incident™ aka How the Wicked Patti Digh Cruelly Robbed Kay Ballard of Her Highest Honor.

Everyone knows that Deepak Chopra is a Man of Enlightenment.  Hell, even Deepak Chopra knows that Deepak Chopra is a Man of Enlightenment.  He is also a prolific Twitter user who tweets, you guessed it, enlightened tweets. Tweets designed to enlighten the rest of us.  And the prolificacy of his tweeting is aided by the fact that many of his twitter followers retweet Deepak Chopra’s tweets.  That is, they reference and repeat Deepak Chopra’s tweets and send them out into their own twitter streams—ostensibly to help enlighten their own twitter followers.  Deepak Chopra’s tweets are retweeted with great frequency.

In acknowledgment of this, in awe of this, and—let’s face it—in envy of this, I tweeted the obvious question:  I asked my followers, point blank, in this plaintive tweet:  “Why, oh why, does everyone retweet @DeepakChopra, but @DeepakChopra never retweets me?”

Almost immediately, my question was answered in the best possible fashion!  Deepak Chopra himself retweeted my whiney, yet legitmate, tweet.  Proving that he has a sense of humor.  Proving that I am an outstanding person worthy of such attention.

Of course, I was unprepared to merely to stand on my laurels.  I immediately used the Kay Ballard retweet by Deepak Chopra as one more opportunity to show off and call attention to myself.  (It’s in my genes, people.)  So, my next 400 or so tweets dealt, in a bragging manner, in some form or fashion with the fact that I had been retweeted by Deepak Chopra.

The more I tweeted about it, the more I became aware that, like Deepak Chopra, I had become a person of enlightenment.  It wasn’t long before through my tweeting about his retweet of my tweet, I came to realize that I was, like Depak Chopra, extremely wise.

And, in my wisdom, I came to realize that being retweeted by Deepak Chopra was clearly my life’s greatest honor.  An honor I deserved.  An honor I achieved.  Through my own merit.

Naturally, sooner or later, my Mortal Enemy, Patti Digh, read a few dozen of my 400 tweets about the retweet.  She was immediately jealous—who wouldn’t be?  But Patti decided to do more than seethe with envy.  She set about to ruin things for me.  She set about to take away my life’s greatest honor.  Rather, My Life’s Greatest Honor™.

Here’s what Patti did:  She tweeted an @ reply to Deepak Chopra.  Actually more than one.  She started out with tweets designed to raise his doubt and concern.  She tweeted “Who is this @KayBallard?” Things escalated from there to her final deadly tweet.  It was, “@DeepakChopra you must stop this woman @KayBallard!”

At this point, Deepak Chopra became alarmed.  So much so that he deleted his retweet of my tweet from his twitter stream.  It disappeared forever.  It became vapor.

It was a sad day for me.  It was a sad day for the industry of enlightenment and wisdom. as one of its most promising new players (me) lost the credential she needed to give her a stellar career teaching others to become, like herself, self-actualized.

Most importantly, it was a red letter day in the tortured history of my tortured relationship with Patti Digh, my darling Mortal Enemy.™